3: Hey, I didn't do anything to you, you just exploded.
As soon as Gu Fan finished speaking, the originally cold mechanical voice suddenly became cheerful, sounding like the notification sound of a successful group buy on a certain app, carrying a sense of cheap yet enticing festivity.
[Alrighty! The Newbie Gift Pack is being unboxed...]
[Ding! Congratulations to the host for obtaining a Divine-Grade passive skill book—"Great Dao Returns to One Art" (Cracked Version)!]
[Ding! Congratulations to the host for obtaining a rare fashion set—the "Seemingly Ordinary but Actually Possessing Incredible Defense" beggars outfit (Automatically equipped, growable, can turn invisible, can transform)!]
[Ding! Congratulations to the host for obtaining the "Provocation Aura" (Permanently effective): Silence speaks louder than words; your very existence is the greatest insult to your enemies.]
Gu Fan was stunned.
He felt his head buzzing, not from pain, but from being struck dumb by this string of ridiculous rewards.
"Cracked version? beggars outfit? And what the hell is that halo..."
The corners of Gu Fan's mouth couldn't help but twitch. "System, isn't your style a bit too ahead of its time? Are we following a serious Xuanhuan path? This isn't some hidden camera for a prank variety show, is it?"
However, the System ignored his complaints and directly began the crude "Empowerment" service.
In an instant, a massive flow of information flooded into his mind.
There were no obscure classical texts or mysterious Daoist mantras.
This so-called "Divine-Grade" Cultivation Technique appeared in Gu Fan's Sea of Consciousness as an incredibly simple and crude "Idiot-Proof Operating Guide."
Summary of the Core Mind-Cultivation Technique of "Great Dao Returns to One Art":
Rule 1: Stop grinding, just lie down. Breathing is Cultivating, and getting beaten is nourishment.
Rule 2: The Law of Conservation of Energy is a scrap of paper here. The enemy's attack is electricity, and you are the unlimited capacity power bank.
Rule 3: No need to deliberately circulate the heavenly cycle; this Cultivation Technique has enabled "Fully Automatic Hosting Mode," primarily serving as a "Gospel for the Lazy."
"Good heavens..." After reading the manual, Gu Fan praised it like an expert, "This isn't a Cultivation Technique; this is clearly a 'cheat engine' tailor-made for a salted fish like me who wants to lie flat!"
As the Cultivation Technique ran automatically, the originally calm Spiritual Qi in the surrounding air suddenly surged frantically toward Gu Fan.
Inside the No. 0 Forbidden Zone, the mottled Spiritual Qi containing corrosive and violent factors was lethal poison to ordinary cultivators; one breath would land them in the ICU for half a month.
But now, under the overbearing conversion of the "Great Dao Returns to One Art," these "poisonous gases" were filtered by Gu Fan's body and instantly transformed into the purest and most docile nourishment.
"Hiss..."
Gu Fan couldn't help but let out a comfortable sigh.
The feeling was like a corporate slave who had worked overtime for a month suddenly being sent on a paid vacation to the Maldives, while getting a top-tier full-body SPA along the way.
Every pore in his body opened up, and every cell was shouting, "I've attained enlightenment!"
In just a few minutes, the Meridians in his body that were originally withered and dried up were not only completely reshaped but also became wider and tougher than before.
His face, which had been as pale as paper, quickly regained a healthy flush.
Even the Dantian that had been destroyed by the fake young master Gu Yu now reconsolidated a golden vortex, spinning so fast it rivaled a spin dryer in the hands of a middle-aged woman.
[Ding! The host's cultivation has achieved a Breakthrough: Qi Refinement Stage Level One!]
[Ding! Qi Refinement Stage Level Two!]
[...]
[Ding! Congratulations to the host, cultivation has stabilized at Qi Refinement Stage Level Three!]
"Just like that... I leveled up?"
Gu Fan clenched his fist, feeling the surging power within him, his expression a bit strange.
In his previous life, the original owner of this body was a poor soul who cultivated bitterly day and night, waking up earlier than a rooster and sleeping later than a dog, practicing for ten whole years just to barely touch the threshold of Qi Refinement Stage Level Three.
And what about himself?
He just lay on the ground, had his throat touched by a wolf, took a few breaths of air, and it was done?
"This is probably the difference between a pay-to-win player and a hardcore grinder."
Gu Fan stood up and brushed the dust off his clothes.
Although the "beggars outfit" gifted by the System still looked tattered, his entire temperament had become completely different.
He was no longer that timid, eye-averting abandoned son of a wealthy family.
At this moment, he stood tall, his eyes reflecting a composure and calm that suggested, "It seems this world isn't such a big deal after all."
"Gurgle..."
An ill-timed sound broke his cool demeanor.
Gu Fan rubbed his stomach and sighed, "Cultivating can't replace food; I'm starving to death."
He looked around.
This was the outer perimeter of the No. 0 Forbidden Zone; though not as terrifying as the depths, it was still fraught with danger.
Giant trees reaching into the clouds blocked most of the light, a pale red miasma drifted through the woods, and occasionally, hair-raising beast roars echoed.
Had it been the old Gu Fan, he would have likely been scared into jelly-legs and wet pants.
But now, as he looked at the gloomy bushes around him, his eyes gleamed with a predatory green light.
"Little animals, don't hide, come out and receive your guest."
Gu Fan licked his lips and took a grand stride forward. "Let me see which lucky little darling will become my first buffet meal."
Unsure if the "Provocation Aura" had taken effect,
Gu Fan had barely walked fifty meters when the grass ahead shook violently.
Immediately after, a foul wind blew over.
"Hiss—"
A giant python, as thick as a water bucket and covered in black iron scales, lowered half its body from a treetop.
It flicked its scarlet tongue, its vertical pupils locked onto Gu Fan.
An Iron-Wire Black-Scaled Python!
Another D-rank Vicious Beast!
Its constriction force was incredibly terrifying; even a main battle tank would be instantly crushed into a scrap-metal pretzel if caught by it.
"Oh, isn't this just a giant spicy gluten?"
Gu Fan didn't retreat; instead, he sized up the opponent with interest and even gave a provocative whistle. "You look quite unique. These scales—did you get them polished and waxed?"
The Iron-Wire Black-Scaled Python had clearly never seen such an arrogant human.
In its understanding, humans would either scream and run or kneel and beg for mercy upon seeing it.
This two-legged creature actually dared to tease it?
If this can be endured, what cannot!
A fierce light erupted in the python's eyes. Its massive body coiled back like a spring compressed to the limit, then shot toward Gu Fan like a bolt of lightning, accompanied by the sound of breaking air!
It opened its massive maw, dark blue venom dripping from its two fangs.
It was incredibly fast!
Facing this fatal strike, Gu Fan didn't even bother to dodge.
He just stood there calmly with his hands in his pockets, even finding the time to critique: "The wind-up animation is too long, one-star review."
The next second.
The python's huge mouth bit down hard on Gu Fan's shoulder!
"Crack!"
A crisp cracking sound, somewhat excessive, rang out.
Gu Fan didn't budge an inch; not even a wrinkle on his clothes was disturbed.
But the aggressive Iron-Wire Black-Scaled Python's body suddenly stiffened in mid-air.
Its two originally razor-sharp fangs had snapped off at the root, flying several meters away and embedding themselves deep into the trunk of a large tree.
"Hiss... Ow?!"
The python let out a strange cry filled with confusion and intense pain.
It widened its eyes as if questioning the world: Why? Why is this human's flesh harder than diamond? My teeth! My brand-new teeth!
However, the backlash had only just begun.
[Detected physical malice and toxin attack from 'Iron-Wire Black-Scaled Python'.]
[Triggered fifteen-fold backlash!]
[Backlash effect randomly generating... Congratulations, selected: This is way too much grinding!]
As the System notification fell, the giant python suddenly began to twitch frantically.
Its originally flexible body, which could bend at will, now seemed to have a mind of its own and began to knot itself uncontrollably.
It wasn't a simple knot.
Like a Great Master of rope art, it wound itself into an extremely complex and artistic "Chinese Knot."
The head passed through the tail, the body looped over the vital seven-inch mark, tightening round after round, tighter and tighter.
"Hiss, hiss, hiss!!!"
The python struggled in terror, but the more it struggled, the tighter the knot became.
Finally, a series of dense bone-cracking sounds echoed.
The giant python literally strangled itself into a tight ball of meat, its internal organs turning into mush under this terrifying suicidal constriction.
Its eyes bulged out, and until the moment it stopped breathing, they were filled with the confusion of "Who am I? Where am I? Why am I killing myself?"
[Ding! Backlash successful! The target has ground itself to death.]
[Obtained a large amount of Blood Qi energy... converting...]
Another warm current flooded in.
Gu Fan felt his cultivation jump up another notch, not far from Qi Refinement Stage Level Four.
He walked up, kicked the standard "python ball," and couldn't help but marvel.
"Sigh, wild animals these days have such poor mental fortitude."
Gu Fan shook his head with an expression of disappointment. "So you lost two teeth—is it really worth strangling yourself to death over? Too extreme, truly too extreme."
If that python knew from the afterlife, hearing this would probably make it rise from the dead just to kowtow to him twice in anger.
Gu Fan didn't waste time.
He stepped over the "meatball" and continued toward the exit of the forbidden zone.
Along the way, the No. 0 Forbidden Zone was incredibly lively.
A Shadow Leopard trying to ambush him had just extended its claws when it was sent flying as if hit by an invisible dump truck, ending up hanging on a tree branch like dried meat.
A swarm of Man-eating Bees that treated Gu Fan as dinner had just bared their stingers when they collectively acted as if they'd drunk fake liquor, attacking each other in a daze before blooming into black fireworks in the sky.
There was also a Man-eating Flower skilled in camouflage that opened its petals to swallow Gu Fan, only to suddenly develop "anorexia," vomiting uncontrollably until it threw up fertilizer from years ago and eventually withered from exhaustion.
Gu Fan was like a walking BUG; wherever he went, nothing was left standing.
But he himself had no awareness of having lifted a finger.
He walked with his hands behind his back like an old leader inspecting work, occasionally offering a few critiques.
"This posture isn't elegant enough."
"That cry isn't loud enough."
"Hey, you over there, can you be more professional when hitting the tree? Even a fake fall needs to follow basic principles!"
In this atmosphere full of joy and laughter, Gu Fan's cultivation soared like it was on a jet engine, reaching all the way to Qi Refinement Stage Level Five.
As night fell, a blood-red moon hung over the treetops.
Gu Fan finally stopped.
Not far ahead, he could vaguely see the electric fence at the edge of the forbidden zone and the dazzling neon lights of Tianqiong City.
There lay the civilized world.
And the place where his "home" was located.
The smile on Gu Fan's face turned into a playful smirk.
He raised his hand, looked at his long and powerful fingers, and the scene from yesterday flashed in his mind.
That home that had specially held a "farewell party" just to throw him into the forbidden zone.
That home that, at this very moment, should be holding a grand banquet to celebrate his complete disappearance.
"Since it's a banquet, how can it be missing the protagonist?"
Gu Fan chuckled softly, looking toward the brightly lit city in the distance.
"Although I don't have an invitation, I've brought a generous gift."
He looked back at the road behind him, littered with the "abstract deaths" of various Vicious Beasts, his tone as light as if he were discussing what to have for dinner.
"I hope I can give you all a little... shock."
"After all, fam, who gets this? The System these days is mainly all about being rebellious."
"You want me to die, so I'll thrive instead. You want me to rot in the mud, so I'll stand on your heads and take a dump."
Gu Fan straightened his shabby-looking beggars outfit, took a deep breath, and walked toward the distance with a swaggering gait.
At this time, inside the Gu Family Manor in Tianqiong City.
Cups were being raised and toasts exchanged in a lively atmosphere.
No one knew that a man who should have been dead was bringing a bizarre power capable of overturning everyone's understanding—like a reply from the Grim Reaper, about to be delivered.