87: Chapter 87 Dormitory Tailor Shop, Divine Flag Turns into Bed Sheets

King of Hearts watched from the shadows.

Gu Fan and his group, carrying their trophy and banner, had stormed back to the dormitory area.

The entrance to Dorm 44 was now more bustling than a vegetable market.

It was packed with people, three layers deep, many holding phones and live-streaming.

Everyone wanted to see what kind of celebration ceremony the newly crowned champions, "Thunderous Sleepwalkers," would hold in their dorm.

"Move aside! Everyone, move aside! Private property, no loitering!"

Xiao Fan propped his 1.8-meter greatsword across the doorway, acting as a temporary security guard.

Gu Fan clutched the gleaming Cloud Brocade Heavenly Silkworm Banner, protecting it in his arms like a thief guarding his loot, his expression more doting than if he were holding his own son.

"Hey, you, stop filming! Copyrighted material, ten points per glance!"

Gu Fan slammed the door shut, cutting off the outside noise and flashing lights.

Inside the dorm, it was quiet.

He spread the banner on the dilapidated wooden plank bed, then turned to Xiao Fan and beckoned.

"Bring me the scissors, the sewing kit, and the tape measure we 'borrowed' earlier."

Lin Xue stood to the side, her hands trembling slightly.

She was an experienced agent, but her heart was still pounding wildly.

That was the Cloud Brocade Heavenly Silkworm Banner!

A sacred artifact that only the strongest kings of Tianqiong Academy had been allowed to touch in its five hundred years of history!

Woven from divine silk tempered with Nine Heavens Mysterious Lightning!

"Pre... President..."

Lin Xue's throat was dry. "Are you really going to cut it?! They say this thing is a Magic Treasure left by the first dean, it has a Spirit, it might..."

"Bite people?"

Gu Fan took the large scissors Xiao Fan handed him, snipped them twice in the air, his eyes blazing with fanaticism.

"No matter how spiritual it is, it's still just a piece of cloth. If it's cloth, it's destined to be slept on. That's its fate."

He pressed one hand on the banner, raised the scissors with the other, and aimed for the very center of the banner, ready to cut.

The moment the scissor tips touched the banner's surface.

Buzz!

A clear, resonant hum suddenly erupted.

The banner actually moved on its own.

Like a slippery loach, it suddenly pulled away from under Gu Fan's hand, suspended in mid-air, bursting with dazzling white light.

Emotions of defiance and anger clearly drilled into the minds of the three people in the room.

It was saying: Don't touch me! Get lost!

"Holy crap! It came to life?!"

Xiao Fan fell onto his butt in fright, his frying pan clattering to the floor.

The banner rustled loudly in the air, curling a corner, and actually condensed a visible wind blade, pointing directly at Gu Fan's nose.

A Magic Treasure protects its master; a Divine Artifact must not be insulted.

Let you sleep on it? Are you worthy?!

Lin Xue's face changed drastically, a throwing knife sliding out of her sleeve: "President, be careful! This banner is at least High Grade Earth Rank! It's going to retaliate!"

Gu Fan didn't move.

Nor did he dodge.

He just held the scissors, squinting at the tattered cloth flaunting itself before him.

"Quite a temper."

Gu Fan snorted, and the black and white panda Golden Core in his Dantian slowly rotated once.

An invisible, intangible, yet immensely heavy aura, so heavy it made one want to lie flat and die ten thousand times on the spot, overflowed from Gu Fan.

That wasn't Killing Intent.

It was a pure, overwhelming 'laziness' that wanted to pull all things in heaven and earth into its bed.

[Passive triggered: Arrogance of the Tool Spirit.]

[Malicious judgment: This tattered cloth looks down on the host and thinks itself very noble.]

[Backlash initiated: Dimensional Reduction Strike - Ragification Suppression.]

Gu Fan lifted his eyelids and casually glanced at the banner.

He uttered two words:

"Come down."

Boom!

Like an invisible mountain crashing down.

The Cloud Brocade Heavenly Silkworm Banner, which moments ago had been arrogant and ready to unleash wind blades to slice Gu Fan, suddenly had its backbone removed.

The sacred light on its body extinguished.

That lofty Spirit was directly overwhelmed by Gu Fan's terrifying 'all beings shall sleep' intent.

Plop.

The banner fell from mid-air, landing on the bed, even humanely flattening itself out, its four corners obediently drooping, looking like a dead dog that said, "I was wrong, I'm just a rag, cut me however you like."

There was only the sound of breathing in the entire room.

Xiao Fan's mouth hung open, his jaw almost dislocated.

Lin Xue silently put her throwing knife away, looking at Gu Fan with a complex expression.

He can even tame a Divine Artifact?

What kind of monster is this?

"That's more like it."

Gu Fan sat on the edge of the bed, satisfied, picked up the scissors, and casually patted the banner. "It's much better to just be a bed sheet, why pretend to be a big-tailed wolf? If you dare to move again, I'll cut you into diapers for Wangcai."

Wangcai in the corner shivered, tucking its tail between its legs.

Next, began a ruthless transformation.

Snip, snip.

The sound of scissors cutting through Heavenly Silkworm Silk was crisp and pleasant.

Gu Fan's technique was surprisingly skilled, even steadier than a professional tailor's.

"Here, cut two meters."

"This piece, cut out the school motto. It'll be perfect for two pillowcases. Resting your head on 'Thick Virtue' on one side and 'Carrying All Things' on the other, you'll feel cultured even in your sleep."

"Don't throw away the remaining scraps, Xiao Fan, I'll sew you a pair of underwear. This material is breathable and can prevent you from suffering Qi Deviation during cultivation."

Xiao Fan held the scraps of cloth, tears welling up in his eyes from gratitude: "President... you're too good to me! I'll put them on right away! Right away!"

Half an hour later.

A new bed was born.

The original hard, creaky wooden plank bed was gone.

In its place was a luxurious, grand bed covered in gleaming white, feeling as soft and dense as warm milk.

The two pillows, imprinted with the school motto, lay at the head of the bed, exuding a strange sense of solemnity.

Gu Fan eagerly threw himself onto it.

Plop.

He sank in.

"Oh..."

Gu Fan let out a long groan, straight from the depths of his Soul.

"This is the feeling..."

"Cool but not cold, soft but not saggy, like lying in a pile of clouds, every pore breathing."

"This is how people should live."

He rolled twice on the bed, burying his face in the pine-scented pillow, his toes curling in comfort.

[Ding! Mission completed: Seize the Cloud Brocade Heavenly Silkworm Banner.]

[Detected that the host has successfully transformed it into the 'Heavenly Silkworm Peaceful Sleep Set'.]

[Mission evaluation: A waste of natural resources, insane, but perfectly aligned with this System's aesthetic.]

[Reward issued: Fully automatic intelligent massage mattress (Divine-Grade Magic Treasure).]

Gu Fan felt a tremor beneath him.

The originally somewhat hard bed board suddenly transformed into a layer of elastic, mysterious material.

Countless tiny warm tendrils rose from beneath him, precisely supporting his lower back and cervical spine, kneading him with an outrageously comfortable pressure.

"Mmm... a little to the left... yes... right there..."

Gu Fan was so comfortable he almost melted.

This mattress could actually automatically scan his bone fatigue and massage wherever it was sore.

This wasn't just sleeping; this was a SPA for the Soul.

"Alright."

Gu Fan rolled over, lazily waving his hand. "I'm happy today, so, Xiao Fan, set up that frying pan."

"Let's have a good meal."

"Stew all those stolen lingzhi and ginseng. Tonight, we'll drink until we drop, celebrating that our Lying Flat Society has core assets."

Soon, the warm aroma of hotpot wafted through the dorm.

Steaming hot, shrouded in white mist.

Xiao Fan, shirtless and wearing only the newly sewn Heavenly Silkworm Silk boxers, was happily scooping meat.

Lin Xue held her bowl, looking at Gu Fan's obnoxious yet content face, and couldn't help but curve her lips into a smile.

Who would have thought?

Outside, people were still fighting tooth and nail for points.

Here, in this small Dorm 44, someone was using the most precious treasure in the entire school as a butt cushion, eating hotpot and singing songs.

This absurd tranquility actually felt... not bad.

Night deepened.

The commotion died down.

Gu Fan lay on his Divine-Grade grand bed, his breathing becoming long and steady.

In the glass bottle by the bed, the captured Spirit of the Secret Realm served as a nightlight, emitting a soft, warm glow.

Everything was perfect.

Until.

Three in the morning.

In the corridor, an extremely faint footstep suddenly sounded.

Or rather, it wasn't a footstep at all.

It was the sound of a shadow rubbing against the ground.

A mass darker than the night itself flowed in through the crack in the door, like water.

The temperature in the room plummeted.