72: core
Shen Lian sensed that Chu Yilan was experiencing some degree of post-traumatic stress.
He didn't want to ask another word.
The answer before him was enough.
“Alright.” Shen Lian gently hugged Chu Yilan, “I’m so sleepy, let’s go upstairs and rest.”
This made Chu Yilan heave a heavy sigh of relief.
If Shen Lian had continued to ask, he still would have spoken, but it felt as if a giant hand was already choking his throat. Chu Yilan was unwilling to reminisce; in fact, this was the first time he had ever spoken to anyone about things related to that past, and he truly wasn't fully prepared.
Chu Yilan closed his eyes and silently said “thank you” in his heart.
It was Shen Lian who was yielding to him.
“Not tonight, okay?” Shen Lian said indistinctly as he came out from his shower.
Chu Yilan, who was leaning against the headboard replying to work messages, chuckled at the words: “And here I thought you were so tough.”
“CEO Chu, be reasonable.” Shen Lian said indignantly, “It’s only because it’s me.”
If it were anyone else with thin arms and legs, would they be able to handle it?
Chu Yilan tossed his phone aside and opened his arms. Shen Lian pounced over and tucked himself under the covers, quickly becoming drowsy. After only a couple of sentences with Chu Yilan, his breathing became steady.
He had to film again the next day; he really didn't have the energy to mess around anymore.
In truth, he could have asked Feng Yueshan and the others about Chu Yilan’s past, but Shen Lian immediately killed that thought because it was disrespectful.
He could always wait for Chu Yilan to speak up. Of course, if he never did, then so be it. Either way, he was taking responsibility for this man's future.
Unsurprisingly, as soon as dawn broke, Shen Lian was once again the first to arrive on set. When Lin Fu arrived, he was sitting in a chair flipping through the script.
“Legs aren't numb anymore?” Lin Fu asked casually.
Shen Lian’s body stiffened. He stared at Lin Fu for two seconds with a look that suggested he was about to 'silence a witness.' After confirming that the man knew nothing, he replied, “Yeah, much better.”
Once today's segment was finished, all of Shen Lian’s scenes would be officially over.
In the story, Lu Xiaokai didn't tell Feng Zheng anything. He knew that now was the golden period for Feng Zheng's career to rise, and he also knew that if Feng Zheng found out, there was a high probability he would fight to the death with the other party. But... it just wasn't necessary anymore.
Lu Xiaokai lay at home for three days with a hollow gaze. All his emotions had surged forth at once, but now they receded like a tide, leaving everything clean, like the sky over the small town.
Lu Xiaokai came to bid Feng Zheng farewell.
Feng Zheng could sense that Lu Xiaokai’s psychological state had been unbalanced for a time, which had caused some friction between them. Even outsiders could see that Lu Xiaokai harbored some jealousy toward Feng Zheng. But they had been brothers for over a decade; they couldn't just drift apart, could they?
“Xiaokai, stay. In the future, I can give you anything!” Feng Zheng promised.
“That’s not the issue.” Lu Xiaokai pressed his hand to his brow, “Brother Feng, I don’t belong here.”
“What do you mean you don't belong? How do you not belong?!” Feng Zheng had been under high pressure for months, and at this moment, his emotions were becoming uncontrollable. Lu Xiaokai had been a part of his entire youth. Back then, the two of them had imitated scenes from movies to become sworn brothers, facing Lord Guan under the moonlight; that was no joke.
“Lu Xiaokai.” Feng Zheng said word by word, “Do you really want to get away from me that badly?”
Lu Xiaokai froze, then murmured, “So you knew all along...”
The city's prosperity was dazzling, but after staying for a long time, Lu Xiaokai felt suffocated and exhausted. Rather than saying he was jealous of Feng Zheng, it was more accurate to say he was envious—envious of how this man was like a fish in water, thriving and moving upward.
“Brother Feng.” Lu Xiaokai looked down at his toes, a habitual gesture when he was acting spoiled, “I’m very happy that you can succeed, truly. But some people love the vastness, while others love the mundane. There’s just no helping it.”
“What is there to like about that?!” Feng Zheng didn't understand. “How many cold shoulders have we endured since we were kids? Have you forgotten the time we went to the fields in the middle of the night to steal tomatoes to fill our stomachs when we were seven or eight? Lu Xiaokai, that place is a wasteland; nothing good can grow there! We finally managed to get out, and our bright future is right before our eyes. How can you...”
“But I like it!” Lu Xiaokai interrupted. He looked up, his eyes already completely red. “But I like it, Brother Feng! I was born there and grew up there. Buying a bowl of tofu pudding in the morning, helping the uncles and grandpas fix their appliances, raising some chickens, ducks, and fish, watching the sunset and the evening glow... I like that kind of mediocre, stable life!”
“Brother Feng, I’m not like you. I can’t fly.”
Feng Zheng’s eyes also turned red bit by bit, but he couldn't find any words to say.
Yes, if one doesn't like it or fit in, then no matter how good or comfortable it is, it's just a burden.
“Brother Feng, I’m leaving.” Lu Xiaokai had already prepared everything and even checked out of his apartment. “You will definitely go higher and higher. I sincerely wish you the best. When you’ve made it in the future and want to go back, I’ll be waiting for you in the old house.”
Feng Zheng turned around and felt the last thread connecting him to his hometown snap.
Lu Xiaokai stepped forward and gave Feng Zheng one last hug. “Brother, take care.”
An unknown amount of time passed. The office was quiet until the assistant gently knocked and entered. “Manager Feng, President Huang is here.”
Feng Zheng closed his eyes and opened them again. All the sorrow had vanished, replaced by a confident, invincible smile.
Downstairs, amidst the heavy traffic, Lu Xiaokai boarded a bus. Sitting by the window, he took one last quiet and peaceful look at the city.
Taking the wrong path comes with a price. He wasn't sure if this price was considered high, but Lu Xiaokai knew he was going home.
He was born mediocre. After a period of venturing out, he had nothing to show for it, but Lu Xiaokai didn't find it shameful. He had seen his true self and was continuing to move forward.
So he was no longer afraid.
Lu Xiaokai revealed a smile.
“Cut!”
“Good! Good!!” Director Zhao had one foot on a stool, his teeth gritted at the performance of the two. It wasn't out of anger, but because—yes, that was the feeling!
Lin Fu’s emotions were surging. Watching Shen Lian walk over from a distance with a smile, he felt an impulse to give him a hug.
Shen Lian’s handling of certain details and emotions made his scalp tingle, as if Shen Lian had personally lived through Lu Xiaokai’s past life and his realizations about it.
“Did it pass?” Shen Lian asked Director Zhao triumphantly.
Director Zhao pointed at him: “You brat!”
The screenwriter was a very emotional person: “Shen Lian, do you have anything you want to say to Lu Xiaokai?”
A small camera was pointed at him; the footage could be edited into the behind-the-scenes clips later.
“No.” Shen Lian ran a hand through his hair. “Once the filming is done, it’s done. The rest is for the audience.”
What was there to say? He had taken on so many roles—good, bad, lucky, and tragic—that he had long since stopped having things to say. “Acting” was the core of what he pursued.
“Anyway, Director Zhao, I’ll be heading out first.” Shen Lian was a bit impatient.
Director Zhao: “If I say you’re not dedicated, your acting leaves me speechless. If I say you are dedicated, you’re more anxious to get off work than anyone.”
“I still have a commercial, Director Zhao.” Shen Lian gave a wry smile. “If the entertainment industry ever hands out a 'Desperate Third Son' award for hard work, I’ll definitely be on the list, okay?”
A group of people burst into laughter. Shen Lian bid them farewell, tied his jacket around his waist, got into the van, and drove away.