8: Chapter 8 Once this matter is resolved, I will sever all ties to the mortal world and return to the path of immortality.

Just as Chen Fan's shoulders were shaking violently as he desperately held back his laughter!

Two paces behind him,

Chen Jianguo's face could no longer be described as merely "dark"!

It was so dark even the bottom of a wok would feel inadequate! It was so black it was practically smoking!!!

What on earth?!

Stealing my underwear? Smelling it? Licking it? And wearing it on her body?

What kind of absolute nonsense is this!

Chen Jianguo instinctively lowered his head and glanced at his waistband.

He clearly remembered throwing that torn dark blue pair of underwear into the trash bin last night.

Yes, he had thrown it away.

Even if Nanny Liu really had that kind of fetish,

could she really run into his room on purpose, dig through the trash bin, pick out those torn underwear, and put them on???

They were underwear with holes in them! Wouldn't it feel uncomfortable for her to wear them?!

No, the point wasn't whether it felt uncomfortable.

The point was that Nanny Liu couldn't possibly do something like that, okay?

She had served the Chen family for twenty years, always hardworking and well-behaved—how could she be a perverted underwear thief?!

Chen Jianguo stole a glance in the direction where Nanny Liu had left.

An image involuntarily surfaced in his mind—

The old woman drooling, rummaging through the trash bin for his torn underwear, holding them up to cover her face, and taking a deep inhale.

A top-tier lung hit~~~

Chen Jianguo: "Gag, blech~~~"

So disgusting! I'm going to throw up!

No! Don't think about it! Too disgusting!

Just thinking about that image gave Chen Jianguo goosebumps all over.

He shook his head violently, urgently banishing an image he never wanted to recall again in his life from his mind.

Wang Xiaoyun, however, stood to the side without saying a word.

Her brow furrowed slightly as she looked toward the stairs where Nanny Liu had disappeared, lost in thought.

As a woman herself, her intuition regarding certain matters was much sharper.

Thinking about it now, certain everyday details about Nanny Liu... indeed seemed off.

Whenever she brought tea to Old Chen, her collar always accidentally had an extra button undone.

Whenever she stood beside Old Chen, she would imperceptibly lean in closer, her voice turning a bit coquettish.

Her eyes would often linger on Old Chen a moment longer before quietly shifting away.

Nanny Liu also never let the younger servants touch Old Chen's dirty laundry, insisting on taking it to the laundry room herself.

And last month, when Old Chen accidentally spilled coffee on his pants in the living room, Nanny Liu took a towel to wipe it.

That intimate gesture—she had felt something was off back then, hadn't she?

She wiped too meticulously, and for far too long...

...

All sorts of scattered everyday details.

Wang Xiaoyun used to think it was just a little strange, but she had never really cared.

After all, in her eyes, Nanny Liu was just a loyal old servant who was over twenty years older than her and Old Chen. Who would think in that direction?

Now, connecting the dots with her son's inner thoughts...

She couldn't help piecing those fragments of life together, her brow furrowing tighter and tighter.

Could it be... actually true???

The next second, Wang Xiaoyun shook her head vigorously, almost laughing at herself out of frustration.

Preposterous.

Too preposterous.

She had almost taken her son's persecutory delusions for real.

Nanny Liu was a senior who had served in the family since her mother-in-law's time, completely loyal to the Chen family and making no mistakes over all these years. How could she have such filthy intentions?!

Impossible! Absolutely impossible!!!

Wang Xiaoyun took a deep breath, forcibly suppressing those chaotic thoughts back into the depths of her heart. She forced a smile once more and took Chen Fan's hand to walk upstairs.

"Let's go, Xiao Fan. Mom will take you to see your new room."

"..."

Chen Fan obediently followed behind, his mind still relishing that "passionate fantasy" from the voice pack.

Stealing underwear. Smelling. Licking. Over a hundred pairs. Still wearing them now.

—No, I want to laugh again.

He bit his lip, holding it in until his face puffed up like an inflated pufferfish.

Meanwhile, inside his head, the voice pack gave a cold snort.

[Vile ants and petty scoundrels, filthy and despicable. This Venerable One finds even a glance polluting to my Divine Sense.]

[Were it not for unresolved Karma from my past life, why would This Venerable One stay a single day longer in this filthy Mortal world?]

[So be it. When the affairs here are settled, This Venerable One shall sever Mortal ties and return to the Immortal Dao.]

[As for these Mortals' filthy dealings? What do they have to do with This Venerable One!]

Chen Fan: "..."

Fine, fine, fine!

Brother Hao, keep acting tough.

I'll go check out my new room first!

Two and a half minutes later.

The room was finally tidied up.

Standing at the doorway, Chen Fan stood rooted to the spot as if his pressure points had been struck, his mouth agape in an "O" shape, unable to close for a long time.

How was this a bedroom?

This was clearly the presidential suite of a domineering CEO from an idol drama!

Especially compared to the rental room he used to live in...

Forget it, there was no comparison.

Enlarge that dark, damp rat hole twenty times.

Then stuff in a king-sized bed that could fit four people, a wall-sized LCD TV, an en-suite bathroom with a jacuzzi, and floor-to-ceiling windows facing the garden's night view—and it might barely reach the heels of this room.

In the partitioned room he used to live in, only a cloth curtain separated the bed from the bathroom.

No air conditioning in summer, no heating in winter.

If someone next door coughed, you could tell whether they had phlegm in their throat that day.

Yet the room in front of him—the walk-in closet alone was three times larger than his entire previous dwelling.

Chen Fan took a deep breath, striving to make his voice sound less like a clueless bumpkin.

"Mom, is this really for me to live in?"

"Of course it's for you." Wang Xiaoyun stood beside him, seeing his pleasantly surprised and flustered expression. Her heart felt both aching and warm, and she said softly,

"How is it? Do you like it?"

"If you don't like it, we can switch to another room!"

"..."

Chen Fan nodded like a chicken pecking at rice, his eyes turning slightly red and sore, his voice carrying a tremor he didn't even notice himself:

"I like it, I love it so much!"

"Thank you, Mom, thank you, Dad! You're so good to me!"

"..."

He meant it from the bottom of his heart.

In his eighteen years as an orphan, no one had ever asked him, "Do you like it?"

Beds in the orphanage were randomly assigned, partitioned rooms in urban villages were the leftovers no one else wanted, and when food deliveries were late, he had to apologize with a forced smile.

He had never been in control of his own life.

But now, someone had specially prepared a room for him, made the bed, and asked him with a smile if he liked it.

He couldn't describe the feeling. He only felt his chest swelling, as if something were welling up inside.

I'm tearing up, guys ( Ĭ ^ Ĭ ).

[That's it? A mere vulgar, humble room, and you expect This Venerable One to weep with gratitude?]

[Compared to This Venerable One's immortal Immortal Cave in my past life, this room is like a latrine to a palace.]

[This Venerable One's palace back then had star cores as its foundation and moonlight paving the floor. Fine nectar condensed from Spiritual Qi flowed into a river before the door, where a single breath equaled a hundred years of arduous cultivation for a Mortal.]

[How can this place compare? Vulgar, unbearably vulgar.]

[This sort of Mortal concrete box is at best a doghouse at the entrance of This Venerable One's immortal abode.]

Chen Fan's mouth twitched, and the emotional soreness that had just welled up instantly vanished.

Yes, yes, yes!

Brother Hao, keep bragging.

If you've got the guts, tell me first, where is that immortal Immortal Cave?

Send me a location drop so I can take a taxi there and broaden my horizons.

[...This Venerable One's Immortal Cave is above the Nine Heavens, unreachable by Mortals.]

"Oh, so it doesn't exist."

[How insolent!]

Chen Fan rolled his eyes, ignoring a certain someone's embarrassed fury.

He now had complete mental immunity against this voice pack's pretentiousness.

He could even calmly chat with Wang Xiaoyun while it was flexing:

"Mom, this bed sheet color is really nice. Green is my favorite."

[Green? Vulgar! Green was what This Venerable One disliked most back then.]

Chen Fan continued to smile:

"This wardrobe is so big. I used to stuff all my clothes in plastic bags."

[No matter how big the wardrobe is, it only holds Mortal vulgarities.]

[Back then, every single one of This Venerable One's robes was an immortal artifact. Taking out any random one could buy ten of your cities.]

The smile on Chen Fan's face never wavered.

He was gradually getting used to the voice pack constantly contradicting him.

After all, this thing hadn't rested once today.

From the family reunion until now, its output of quotes was higher than the total number of food delivery orders he had placed in his entire life.

At this rate, ten thousand cultivation quotes would be reached in no time. When he achieved Ascension, he'd even have to burn three sticks of incense for Brother Hao!

Meanwhile at this moment,

The Wang Xiaoyun couple listened to their precious son's inner thoughts, their lips twitching slightly.

They knew perfectly well how terrible their son's previous living conditions were.

Yet now he actually dared to disdain this room as a 'doghouse'?

Who gave him the courage to disdain it? Emperor Liang?

Forget it, their son was sick.

Don't argue with him for now.

When he finally snaps out of it and realizes that there's no love like a mother's, he will naturally weep with gratitude to us.

Wang Xiaoyun could only silently recite that self-suggestion in her heart once again.

Just as she was about to say something—

The voice pack rang out again.

Once it finished speaking this time, the expressions of all three members of the Chen family underwent a subtle change.