198: Chapter 198 Lin Yue

Lin Yue remembered that when he was a child, his favorite thing to do was sit on the rock at the entrance of the village and watch the sky.

The sky back then was very blue, so blue it didn't seem real.

Occasionally, an airplane would fly overhead, leaving a white tail behind it, and he would tilt his head back and watch it until his neck grew sore, until that tail slowly dissipated and turned into clouds.

"When I grow up, I want to fly planes," he had told his grandfather many times.

Grandfather would always say "good," then pat his head, his rough palms smelling of tobacco and soil.

Lin Yue's father was a soldier.

He didn't have many memories of his father, only a faded photograph.

The young man was wearing a military uniform, standing in front of an old-style tank, smiling foolishly.

His father passed away when he was six. It wasn't a sacrifice; it was death by illness.

Liver cancer, and by the time it was diagnosed, it was already terminal.

His mother took his father to a large hospital in the provincial capital, where they stayed for two months, spending all the family's savings, but in the end, they couldn't keep him.

On the day his father passed away, his mother didn't cry.

She sat in the hospital corridor, holding Lin Yue, not saying a word.

Lin Yue didn't really understand what death meant back then.

He only remembered that his mother held him very tightly, so tightly that he could hardly breathe.

In the days that followed, his mother supported the family on her own.

She worked at a garment factory in town, leaving at six in the morning and not returning until eight or nine at night. After school, Lin Yue would cook for himself, stir-frying an egg or boiling a bowl of noodles, just enough to fill his stomach.

His grades were neither good nor bad.

Above average, he didn't cause trouble or make a scene, and the teachers' evaluation of him was always, "This child is very well-behaved."

But only he knew that he wasn't well-behaved; he just didn't know who to talk to.

In his first year of junior high, the homeroom teacher asked every student to go on stage and state their dream.

Some said they wanted to be bosses, some said they wanted to be stars, and some said they wanted to travel the world.

When it was Lin Yue's turn, he stood on the podium, hesitated for a long time, and said.

"I want to be a soldier."

The whole class fell silent.

The teacher smiled, a very gratified smile, and then said something that Lin Yue would remember for a long time.

"Being a soldier is good; protecting the country is glorious."

On the way home from school that day, Lin Yue walked alone along the ridge of the fields, the setting sun stretching his shadow out long.

He looked down at his shadow and thought, do soldiers never feel afraid?

He didn't know the answer, but he wanted to try.

The year he graduated from high school, Lin Yue was eighteen.

He didn't take the college entrance exam; he signed up for the military directly.

On the day of the physical examination, he stood in a long line, watching the young people around his age in front of him—some excited, some nervous, some goofing off.

When it was his turn, the doctor had him perform a few movements, measured his height and weight, and tested his vision and hearing.

"Qualified." The doctor stamped the form without even looking up.

Holding that form, Lin Yue stood in the corridor, feeling both like laughing and crying.

He didn't know why he felt that way.

He just felt that, as if from this moment on, his life finally had a direction.

When his mother found out, she was silent for a long time.

That night, she sat in the living room, picking vegetables as she said, "Your father was the same back then, leaving just like that."

Lin Yue didn't know how to respond, so he crouched down to help her pick the vegetables.

"Go," his mother finally said, her voice very soft. "Be like your father, and don't disgrace our family."

Lin Yue would never forget the days in the new recruit company.

The whistle at 5:30 in the morning, the morning runs in temperatures below negative ten degrees, being scolded mercilessly by the instructors, crawling in the mud for tactical training until his knees were raw...

He wasn't the smartest, nor was he the most courageous.

But he had one advantage: he could endure hardship.

When others complained about running five kilometers, he gritted his teeth and ran one more.

When others collapsed after fifty push-ups, he wouldn't stop until he reached eighty.

The squad leader noticed him and asked, "Are you stupid, kid?"

He grinned and said, "I'm afraid I won't be able to keep up."

The squad leader looked at him and said nothing more, but from then on, he was stricter with him.

By the time the new recruit training ended, his assessment scores were all at the top.

The squad leader commended him by name at the company meeting, saying he had "a streak of resilience."

After being assigned to a company, he was sent to the reconnaissance battalion.

The training in the reconnaissance battalion was ten times harder than in the new recruit company. Weighted cross-country, wilderness survival, night infiltration, hand-to-hand combat... Every day was a challenge to the limits of his body.

But he liked it.

He liked lying in the tent listening to the wind during field training. He liked using his peripheral vision to watch the star-filled sky while standing guard at night. He liked sitting on the side of the road sharing a cigarette with his comrades after completing a mission.

Those were the happiest days before he turned twenty.

The turning point occurred in the third year.

That summer, the troop organized a live-combat exercise. The reconnaissance squad Lin Yue was in was assigned a mission: to infiltrate the Blue Force's rear and mark important targets.

The mission itself wasn't complex, but the route was dangerous. They had to cross a minefield and a swift river.

The squad leader led the team out at two in the morning; the night was thick and impenetrable.

Everything went smoothly while crossing the minefield; the mine-clearing specialist was experienced and led them through a safe path. But there was a problem when crossing the river.

The current was faster than expected, and the stones underfoot were slippery and wet. Lin Yue was in the middle of the line, with the squad leader in front and the new recruit, Xiao Zhou, behind him.

When they reached the middle of the river, Xiao Zhou slipped and fell into the water.

Lin Yue instinctively reached out and grabbed Xiao Zhou's harness. But the force was too great, and he was pulled off balance as well.

His foot slipped on the rock, and he fell into the water.

He felt his right leg hit something, and a sharp pain surged up from below his knee, so painful that he almost let go.

But he didn't let go.

He gritted his teeth, holding onto Xiao Zhou's harness for dear life with one hand, while frantically pushing against the water with the other. The squad leader reacted quickly, turning around and grabbing his arm, pulling both of them back.

After getting ashore, he looked down at his right leg.

His pant leg was torn open, blood was gushing out, and there was a deep wound on his lower leg. The bone was exposed, stark white, and particularly glaring under the moonlight.

"Call the medic!" the squad leader roared.

Lin Yue lay on the riverbank, looking at the stars above, and suddenly smiled.

He remembered the days when he was a child sitting on the rock at the village entrance watching the sky. Back then, he thought that the airplanes in the sky were the closest he would ever get to it.

He hadn't expected that what would truly bring him close to the sky would be this moment.

The wound became infected.

After the exercise ended, he was sent to the military region's general hospital. The doctor said it was an open fracture, and because the wound was severely contaminated, the infection had already spread.

After three debridement surgeries and the best antibiotics, they still couldn't save his lower leg.

On the day of the amputation, Lin Yue didn't cry.

He just lay on the bed, staring at the ceiling, his mind completely blank.

He thought about many things. He thought about the morning runs in the new recruit company, the field training in the reconnaissance battalion, the way the squad leader scolded him, and Xiao Zhou's young, terrified, pale face.

He thought of his father again. He thought of that faded photograph, the way his mother sat in the corridor, and how when he was six, he didn't understand anything and was afraid of nothing.

Now he understood, and he was afraid.

What he feared wasn't losing a leg. What he feared was that from now on, he wouldn't be able to do anything.

After being discharged from the hospital, he processed his retirement papers.

The company commander and the political instructor came to see him off, and the squad leader came too. The squad leader stood at the entrance of the camp, his eyes red, holding back for a long time before saying: "You are a good soldier."

Lin Yue smiled and said, "Squad leader, don't get sentimental."

He turned around and walked out of the camp, limping.

The sentry behind him saluted him, but he didn't look back. Because he knew that if he looked back, he wouldn't be able to leave.