5: Chapter 5 Hair Dryer vs. Female Zombie

Lin Ye's movements were clumsy at first, but he soon softened his touch.

Through the towel, he gently rubbed the silver hair on top of Leng Yue's head.

With every press, the residual Yang energy in his palms would seep through the towel, strand by strand, into Leng Yue's hair.

For Leng Yue, who had spent years in a place of extreme Yin, this touch, carrying the burning temperature of a living human, was an experience she hadn't had in a thousand years.

At first, she instinctively tensed her back, like a beast ready to lash out and hurt someone at any moment.

Gradually, under Lin Ye's patient and gentle wiping, that impenetrable defense began to let down bit by bit.

Lin Ye's fingers occasionally brushed against her icy nape and delicate earlobes by accident.

That sensation, like an electric current passing through mysterious ice, made Leng Yue let out an uncontrollable, soft gasp.

Her spine, which had been held straight, relaxed slightly, and she even leaned back half an inch, resting lightly against Lin Ye's lower abdomen.

In those deep red eyes, the usual slaughter and coldness rarely faded away; she half-closed her eyes, revealing a hint of docility after a thousand years of loneliness had been melted away.

"Does that feel good?" Lin Ye asked softly while wiping her astonishingly long hair.

"Mmm..." Leng Yue didn't turn her head, just responded in a low voice.

At that moment, she wasn't the infamously fierce Red Hou; she truly looked like a newlywed bride.

"Brother-in-law is biased! I want to be dried too!" Frost Star, hanging on Lin Ye's arm, wasn't having it. Her heterochromatic eyes were full of jealousy as she opened her small mouth, ready to bite Lin Ye's wrist.

"What's the rush? Wait in line!" Lin Ye rubbed the little loli's head in annoyance before plugging in the hairdryer.

"Vroom!" As the hairdryer let out a loud roar, a blast of hot air gushed out.

"What hidden weapon is this?!" Leng Yue snapped her eyes open, her red irises surging with killing intent.

She instinctively hooked her hand back, gripping the hairdryer's casing with an impossibly fast speed.

If Lin Ye hadn't been quick enough to press her hand down, the hairdryer that had accompanied him for three years would likely have been reduced to a pile of plastic debris.

"Calm down! Wife, calm down!" Lin Ye jumped in fright.

"This isn't a hidden weapon, it's called a hairdryer, a modern magical artifact! It's used to dry hair, it doesn't hurt people!"

"Hair... dryer?" Leng Yue looked at the plastic lump in her hand that made strange noises while blowing out warm air, a flash of confusion and curiosity in her eyes.

This contrast was adorable, just like a fierce female leopard seeing a cat teaser wand for the first time.

In her thousand-year memory, things that could make noise and breathe fire or smoke were either Daoist magical treasures or mechanical tigers from the battlefield.

She extended a finger, carved like white jade, and cautiously, with a hint of probing, touched the hairdryer's nozzle.

The scorching airflow swept across her fingertip, and she jerked her hand back, her deep red eyes filled with vigilance and absurdity.

"This object has no flowing runes, nor does it have spiritual energy fluctuations, yet it can generate the energy of fire essence out of thin air?"

"And this noise is chaotic, like ten thousand bees buzzing in unison. Could it be that some lightning-element spirit is imprisoned within?"

She circled the hairdryer, even wanting to use her divine sense to investigate the constantly spinning motor.

"Sister is such an old fossil." Frost Star, kneeling on the bed beside them, patted her wet hair ends while mocking her.

"In Husband's world, magical artifacts don't even need incantations. You just plug them into that strange hole in the wall, and you can borrow the power of the Five Thunders."

"Look, this divine beast called 'Philips' breathes fire that is much more comfortable than your Red Lotus Karmic Fire; it's so warm and cozy."

As Frost Star spoke, she even boldly leaned in, taking a deep breath of the hot air smelling of electric sparks, and wore an expression of pure intoxication.

Seeing this, the suspicion in Leng Yue's eyes dissipated quite a bit.

She straightened her back again, tilted her head slightly, and looked out the window, but ordered in a somewhat stiff tone: "Then... continue. Husband, do not stop. I would like to see what mysteries this modern magical artifact holds."

"Fine."

Lin Ye aimed the hairdryer at Frost Star's damp Lolita skirt.

Under the hot air, Frost Star squinted her eyes in comfort, humming and hawing like a groomed Ragdoll cat: "Wow, what warm wind! Husband's magical artifact is amazing!"

Leng Yue silently withdrew her hand and gave a light, forced cough to maintain her composure: "A mere parlor trick. However... it is worth a try."

For the next half hour, a strange yet exceptionally heartwarming scene played out in the bedroom.

A young man with depleted Yang energy, holding a wooden comb worth a dozen yuan and an old hairdryer, patiently combed the hair of two peerless female zombies whose combined age exceeded a thousand years.

The hot air blew away the moisture and Yin energy from their bodies, and the entire room was filled with that pleasant, cold fragrance.

When the last strand of silver hair was dried, Lin Ye let out a long sigh of relief, feeling as if his old waist was about to break.

"Vroom! Vroom!" Just then, the old domestic mobile phone Lin Ye had left on the nightstand suddenly began to vibrate.

In the middle of this rainy night, the abrupt ringtone sounded particularly jarring.

Leng Yue and Frost Star turned their heads simultaneously, staring fixedly at the glowing little square with cold, hostile gazes.

Lin Ye picked up the phone and looked at it; three big characters flashed on the screen: [Fatty Wang].

Fatty Wang, whose real name was Wang Defa, was Lin Ye's die-hard roommate from his four years of college.

More importantly, the fatty came from a wealthy family and happened to be the landlord of the rental properties on the street next to Lin Ye's house; he often helped Lin Ye out, and the two were extremely close.

"Hello, Fatty, are you summoning spirits in the middle of the night?" Lin Ye pressed the answer button and said with annoyance.

From the other end of the line, Fatty Wang's lecherous and gossipy voice immediately came through: "Yezi! Holy crap, you're hiding your true colors! I just got up to pee, walked past the back alley of your shop, and heard buzzing on your second floor, along with women's voices! And more than one!"

Fatty Wang's voice was extremely loud, sounding as if he had a loudspeaker in this silent room.

"I vaguely heard things like 'magical artifact is amazing,' 'does that feel good,' and so on..."

"Damn, has your Funeral Shop business expanded into the flesh trade? Or did you finally wise up and bring a sister-in-law home? No, wait, listening to the voices, it's clearly a threesome!"

Lin Ye's face instantly turned as black as the bottom of a pot.

This damn fatty, what else could be in his brain besides those dirty thoughts?

But he hadn't had time to start scolding him yet.

Leng Yue, who had been listening quietly from the side, suddenly leaned close to the phone's microphone.

She looked at the glowing screen, a flash of the Red Hou's awe-inspiring killing intent flickering in her deep red eyes, her tone as cold as a ten-thousand-year abyss: "What kind of monster are you, daring to imprison a human voice in this square iron box? Release the person immediately, or else, die!"

On the other end of the line, silence fell instantly, like the silence of death.

A full five seconds passed.

"Beep, beep, beep..."

Fatty Wang, with the hand speed of a twenty-four-year single man, panicked and hung up the phone.

Lin Ye looked at the hung-up phone, then at Leng Yue, who had an expression of "I've dealt with that monster for you," and Frost Star, who was grinning, showing her little fangs and looking like she was eager for chaos.

He painfully covered his face.

Damn it, how am I supposed to live tomorrow?