16: Chapter 16 Father and Son Have a Heart-to-Heart Talk

When Xu Weidong reached the eleventh lap at the purple track, his phone rang. The name that popped up on the screen made him stop in his tracks.

"Dad."

A familiar voice came from the other end of the line, lower than usual.

"Are you in the dormitory?"

"I'm at the track."

Xu Weidong looked up at the lights of the dormitory building in the distance and said in a flat tone, "Just going for a walk."

Xu Tianhua didn't speak immediately. Through the phone, one could faintly hear the rustling of papers being turned and the soft clink of a teacup touching the desk.

At this hour, his father should still be in the office.

In the dead of night, the Provincial Party Committee's The Government Compound was always brightly lit; it was the norm.

"I heard about that appointment at your school."

Xu Weidong's hand gripping the phone tightened slightly. So it really was a power struggle among the upper echelons...

"Vice President of the University Student Union."

His father's voice was very calm; no emotion could be detected.

"Freshman year."

Xu Tianhua didn't ask what was going on, nor did he ask what he thought about it.

He simply stated the facts and then left the silence for his son.

Xu Weidong stopped. The track was very quiet, with only the wailing sound of the wind blowing through the iron frame of the stands.

"Dad, I didn't ask for it."

"I know."

"And I didn't refuse it."

"You couldn't refuse."

There was silence on the other end of the line for a few seconds.

"So what?"

Xu Weidong was stunned for a moment.

"So you are standing on the track right now, walking lap after lap?"

Xu Tianhua's voice remained flat, as if he were discussing tomorrow's work schedule.

"What are you thinking about?"

Xu Weidong did not answer. He kept his head down, using his toe to grind a small pebble embedded in the crack of the rubber track.

The pebble didn't budge. Through the surface of his shoe, his toes could feel its hard resistance.

"Wondering if you deserve it?"

Xu Weidong didn't speak.

"Wondering what to do in the future?"

He still didn't speak.

"Wondering how many of those people watching you are genuinely happy for you, how many are just watching the show, and how many want to get something out of it?"

Xu Weidong's throat moved.

"Dad, how do you know everything?"

Xu Tianhua chuckled softly—not a mocking laugh, but the knowing laugh of someone who had raised his son for nineteen years.

"Comrade Weidong, you were never the kind of child who didn't know the heights of the sky and the depths of the earth. You started learning chess at four; you never cried when you lost, but would stare at the board until you could see where you went wrong."

Xu Tianhua paused, then said, "A child like that, when he knows he has received something he shouldn't have, his first reaction won't be happiness."

Xu Weidong held the phone, listening to his father's voice.

The wind on the track outside seemed to have stopped, and the night in the entire Yancheng quieted down.

"Do you feel like a thief right now?"

Xu Weidong's eyes suddenly felt a little hot.

"No..."

Xu Weidong cleared his throat, trying to make his voice sound normal.

"No, it's just..."

"It's just that I don't know how to move forward."

"Before, my goals were very clear: study hard, get into a good university, and after graduation, serve the people just like you. Now, those don't seem to be the problems anymore; the problem has become..."

Become what?

Become whether I can live up to this arrangement?

Become whether those people are investing in me or my dad?

Become whether I will disappoint everyone if I can't do what they expect in the future?

These words were stuck in his throat; he couldn't say a single one.

"Become 'Who am I?'"

Xu Weidong was taken aback.

"When people are in favorable circumstances, they rarely think about this question."

Xu Tianhua said, "Only when you are placed in a position you aren't ready for, and haven't fully thought through, do you start to ask yourself."

"'Who am I, why is it me, and where am I going?'"

Xu Tianhua paused, then said, "You are in that position right now."

Xu Weidong held the phone without speaking.

"This is a good thing."

"A good thing?"

"A good thing."

His father's voice was firm, as if stating an indisputable fact.

"Most of the time in this life, people are just drifting with the tide. There aren't actually many people who get the chance to stop and ask themselves who they are."

Xu Tianhua paused and said, "Although this process will be very uncomfortable."

Xu Weidong suddenly laughed—a laugh that was a bit bitter, yet also carried a sense of relief.

"Dad, how can you turn everything into a good thing?"

"It's not that I can turn it, it's that it is a good thing to begin with; it's just that good things don't necessarily make people feel comfortable."

Xu Weidong didn't speak.

He slowly chewed on this sentence in his heart: good things don't necessarily make people feel comfortable.

Just like standing under a spotlight, just like becoming that unprecedented exception.

Just like from today on, the way everyone looks at him is different.

These won't be comfortable, but perhaps they are good things.

"Dad, can I ask you a question?"

"Go ahead."

Xu Weidong opened his mouth, then closed it again.

"You and Mom..."

"How did you two get together back then?"

"Why are you asking this all of a sudden?"

"I just wanted to ask."

He didn't know why he suddenly asked this. Maybe it was because that last lap took too long, maybe the wind tonight was too chilly, or maybe it was because standing by the stands just now, he suddenly remembered how Bai Bing's eyes curved into crescent moons when she laughed in the corridor that day.

Maybe he just wanted to hear his father say something—something unrelated to the University Student Union, to power struggles, or to that invisible game of chess.

Xu Tianhua was silent for a few seconds.

"Your mom..."

There was something different in Xu Tianhua's voice—not the steadiness of a leader giving a speech, but a more relaxed and softer tone.

"Your mother and I fell in love at first sight in college, and then your old man here seized the opportunity and snatched up this cabbage."

Xu Weidong was stunned. He had never heard his father speak in this tone.

In his memory, his father was always the person sitting in the study reviewing documents.

He didn't say much, showed few expressions, and only occasionally looked up to ask if he had finished his homework.

He thought his father was just that kind of person: calm, restrained, and unexpressive.

"And then?"

"Did you get her?"

"It wasn't that easy."

Xu Tianhua chuckled and said, "I chased her for over a year before we got together."

Xu Weidong laughed, "Dad, why are you telling me all this?"

"You asked, didn't you?"

Xu Weidong was silent for a while, then said, "Dad, do you have any... requirements for my significant other?"

The other end of the line was quiet for a few seconds, then Xu Tianhua laughed.

"Requirements?"

"What requirements would I have?"

"As long as you like her."

Xu Weidong was stunned.

Xu Tianhua continued, "What family, what background, what education—those are all your own business."

"If you like her, I support it."

"If you don't, it doesn't matter who says what."

Xu Weidong held the phone without speaking.

He remembered listening to the adults chat when he was a child, occasionally mentioning which families had formed an alliance through marriage, or whose child had married whose daughter.

He didn't understand it back then, but he slowly understood it later.

Some marriages were not just about the two people involved; he thought his family was like that too.

"Then..."

He hesitated for a long time, then asked clumsily, "Doesn't our family have any... people we need to consolidate ties with?"

The other end of the line was quiet again for a few seconds, then Xu Tianhua laughed once more.

This time he laughed louder than before, with a hint of helplessness, a hint of amusement, and perhaps a hint of gratification or heartache.

"Comrade Weidong, do you think your dad is some feudal old fossil?"

"No..."

"Or do you think our family has become so prominent that we need to rely on children's marriages to consolidate our position?"

Xu Weidong didn't speak.

"Let me tell you."

Xu Tianhua's voice suddenly shed its amusement, becoming steady and firm.

"That our family has made it to where we are today is already a miracle of the highest order."

Xu Weidong was stunned again. Clearly, he had been stunned quite a lot today.

"I started as a staff member and worked my way up step by step. I relied on the guidance of old leaders, I relied on never making any principled mistakes, and I relied on good luck, catching a few critical opportunities."

"I never gave anyone any promises, nor did I hold any dirt on anyone."

"Going back three generations in our family, there hasn't been a single official."

Xu Tianhua paused, then laughed, "With a background like that, where do you expect me to find someone to consolidate ties with?"

Xu Weidong opened his mouth but couldn't say anything.

"Besides, even if there really were such a person, I wouldn't let you go."

"Our family hasn't reached the point where we need our children to sacrifice their own happiness."

Xu Weidong held the phone, standing in the middle of the track.

The night wind blew over from the stands, carrying the crisp chill characteristic of early winter. He suddenly felt that the wind tonight wasn't so cold anymore.

"Dad, thank you."

"What are you thanking me for? I'm your dad."

Xu Weidong lowered his head, looking at his toes.

The laces of his running shoes were loose. He bent down to tie them tight. When he straightened up, he suddenly asked, "Dad, tell me, if you meet someone you don't want to let down..."

"What?"

"Should you be proactive?"

The sound of pages turning came from the other end of the line, as if he were chatting with his son while handling official business.

Then that sound stopped, and the teacup was gently placed back on the desk.

"Comrade Weidong, when I was young, there was a saying I remembered for many years."

"What saying?"

"'In this life, it's not hard to meet someone you're attracted to, but it's very hard to meet someone you don't want to let down.'"

Xu Tianhua paused, then said, "If you meet them, don't wait."

"You can't wait."

"By the time you think you are worthy, she will have already boarded someone else's bridal sedan, and you won't even have a place to cry."

Xu Weidong didn't speak. He thought of Bai Bing.

He thought of her standing in the sunlight on the day school started, in her white dress and high ponytail, her eyes curving into crescent moons when she laughed.

He thought of her introducing the Literature Club in the corridor, her eyes sparkling as if they held two stars.

He thought of Yang Liqun saying that Senior Bai Bing had even cried...

He pushed these images down and asked, "Dad, how did you know I've met someone I don't want to let down?"

"I didn't."

"But if you hadn't said it, I wouldn't have asked."

"When you are willing to talk about it, you will naturally say it."

Xu Weidong was silent for a long time. The wind on the track stopped.

"Her name is Bai Bing, she's a sophomore, in the School of Civil and Hydraulic Engineering. She was the senior who welcomed the freshmen on the first day."

"Mm."

"She... she is very good."

"Not that kind of... not because of who my dad is."

"When she met me, she didn't know anything."

"Mm."

"She went to the Academic Affairs Office teacher to ask why there was such an exceptional arrangement, and the teacher said this wasn't a level she could access."

"Mm."

"And then she didn't dare to get close to me anymore."

Xu Weidong asked, as if asking his father, and as if asking himself.

"What is she afraid of?"

"Afraid of not being a match? Afraid of being called a social climber? Afraid that I was only... because she was enthusiastic?"

"Or afraid that I was just acting on a whim because of her looks?"

"Comrade Weidong, why do you think she cried?"

"It wasn't because she felt she wasn't a match for you; it was because she likes you."

"And now she feels she isn't qualified to like you anymore."

Xu Weidong held the phone, standing in place.

"So, you have two choices now."

"What?"

"One is to accept this reality and keep your distance from her from now on. She is a child from an ordinary family; you are the exceptionally promoted Vice President of the University Student Union."

"She feels she isn't qualified to like you, you feel there's no need to explain, and you two just like that, slowly drift apart."

Xu Weidong didn't speak. Clearly, that wasn't the result he wanted.

"The second is to tell her that none of that matters."

"How do I tell her?"

"Tell her directly."

"I don't care what method you use—saying it in person, sending a text, writing a love letter—just tell her."

"You are still the you from the first day of school, and she is still the her from the first day of school. Who your dad is, who you are—it has nothing to do with anything."

"And it has nothing to do with the matter between the two of you."

Xu Weidong was silent.

"Of course, you can also do nothing."

"Wait for her to figure it out, wait for her to walk out of it herself, wait until you feel the time is right to act."

"But I must warn you..."

"By the time that happens, she might not like you anymore."

"Or, she might already be with someone else."

Xu Weidong gripped his phone tighter.

"Dad, this is reverse psychology."

"It is."

"But what I said is the truth."

Xu Tianhua paused, his voice carrying a hint of amusement, "Haven't you always said you hate being arranged? Now no one is arranging you."

"You choose for yourself."

Xu Weidong didn't answer. After a while, he suddenly laughed.

"Dad, I used to think you were a very serious person."

"Is that so?"

"You never speak clearly, you never leave a trace in your actions, you never show your emotions—I thought you were born like that."

"And now?"

"Now I feel that you just didn't want me to see other sides of you."