Chapter 302: Issuing Side Quests IRL

Yu Xuan and the others crouched around the map, discussing their strategy for quite a while.When they finally reached an agreement, Number One looked at Yu Xuan with a face that screamed "this is insane."

"Boss... how do we even do that? Even with all of us combined, it sounds very difficult."

And he wasn’t exaggerating.

Their plan was the kind of idea only cultivators would consider reasonable.

They were going to kidnap the ground itself.

The entire mountain section in reverse.

"I don’t know if it will work either," Yu Xuan admitted calmly.

"So be ready to run. If the spirit stone veins act as formation nodes for this realm then, well—boom."

The others’ expressions tightened instantly.

Their plan was simple in words:

Rather than fighting the Yin-seng and Yang-seng — two herbs and powerful at that, which by Yu Xuan’s estimate, both had reached Early Tier Five in raw strength.

They would just... steal the entire area supporting them.

Yu Xuan had noticed that the two spiritual herbs were drawing power from the high-grade spirit stone deposits beneath them.

These stones had absorbed both Yin and Yang attributes for years, turning the region into a natural dual-energy pool.

"Those herbs are likely semi-conscious," Yu Xuan explained.

"If we try to pluck them directly, they’ll resist. So instead, we take the whole thing."

Kidnapping the herbs by kidnapping the mountain. This was their strategy.

"Boss, you know..." Number Four whispered, "this feels like the beginning of a legend."

"No," Number Three corrected with sparkling eyes, "this feels like the beginning of a great robbery."

Yu Xuan ignored them and signaled.

"Everyone retreat. I’ll handle the pulling."

Number One and the others immediately moved far, far away, just in case the mountain spontaneously exploded.

Standing alone at the center, Yu Xuan exhaled deeply.

It was time to test the new System upgrade.

’System issue a side quest. I will take these two treasures out of this hidden realm.’

A chime echoed in his mind.

[DING!]

[Side-Quest Issued!]

A gold-black panel appeared in his vision.

——————————————————

[Side Quest]

You are a Genius!

First, you kidnapped a poor old system, and now you’re kidnapping young herbs.

Your reputation as a Kidnapper predates you (really).

If you ever unlock your Job as a Kidnapper, you may become the greatest Kidnapper Under Heavens.

Objective: Kidnap Yin-seng and Yang-seng

Reward: Increase in Yin Qi , Increase in Yang Qi, Basic Yin–Yang Dual Cultivation Method

Failure: Your Yang will be depleted and used as cultivation resource.

——————————————————

Yu Xuan felt a dangerous chill run between his legs as he read the mission failure punishment.

Technically, both "reward" and "failure" sounded beneficial.

But the difference between them was the difference between Heaven and Earth, Cultivation and Trauma.

He gulped.

After its recent upgrade, the system had become far more talkative, inserting sarcastic commentary into every line of text.

He had already suspected it had also gained a personality.

And judging by the cheeky tone.

A terrible personality.

Yu Xuan also discovered something else.

Quest rewards did not activate for anyone weaker than him.

Meaning.

He could give out quests.

But they would get no reward.

A truly profound scam. The system rewards itself said now, "No bullying the Weak!"

Still... after many years, Yu Xuan finally felt like he had a proper system.

One with panels, quests, IRL side-quests, hidden upgrades, and now unfortunately a mischievous attitude.

And then there was the other quest.

The one he issued to himself by accident on the day his master beat him senseless.

It had been quietly sitting there in the quest log ever since.

It was also a Main quest.

——————————————————

[Main Quest]

Ohhhh? Quite ambitious!!!

Objective: Defeat the Master

Reward: ???

Failure: ???

——————————————————

Yu Xuan closed the window instantly.

He had a hunch that even thinking about that quest too much might provoke his master’s intuition.

Still, through constant experimentation, he had begun to grasp how the quest system worked.

The system had definitely gained a spirit but was not showing itself.

Yu Xuan exhaled slowly, releasing all hesitation.

"Alright," he said at last, eyes sharpening with resolve.

"It’s time to kidnap a mountain."

***

Yu Xuan sat cross-legged, hovering calmly as he channeled his vast Qi deep into the earth.

His Earth affinity made the soil feel like an extension of his limbs. He had also constructed his Inner Earth core.

His Yin–Yang affinity and Inner cores let him weave through the underground currents as if strolling through his own courtyard.

Thirty kilometers below the surface, he finally felt it, the end of the spirit stone vein.

A massive, glowing reservoir of Yin and Yang tainted spirit stones... and then solid earth.

Yu Xuan exhaled in relief.

’Good. If anyone else were present, this entire operation would have caused a commotion big enough to summon Sect Elders.’

He stretched out his hands.

The earth responded.

Slowly, he rose and the ground rose with him.

CRACK—! CRACK—! CRACK—!

The land trembled. Massive fissures tore across the surface.

A tsunami of spiritual energy burst outward, slamming into Number One and the others like a storm.

Number Three nearly jumped head-first into the cracks from excitement alone.

Number Four had to hold him by the collar.

As Yu Xuan ascended into the air, an enormous section of the underground rose beneath him, like a floating continent being lifted by invisible chains.

Spirit beasts in nearby regions felt the disturbance.

Normally, this kind of movement would’ve triggered a stampede with beasts charging in, territorial kings roaring, chaos erupting.

But strangely...

Not a single beast approached.

They froze in their dens, refusing to move into the area.

Yu Xuan frowned thoughtfully.

’Weird. I prepared so many defensive measures for nothing.’

Just in case the beasts attacked, he had scattered dozens of talismans around the perimeter, talismans that allowed him to use a very special technique he once received from a certain eccentric senior.

Ke, the craftsman who forged his indestructible robes till Core Formation.

In the letter Ke sent with the robe, he mentioned.

"Your spirit is strong consider this an investment, after you ascend visit my home world."

[A/N: Read start of Chapter 263 for a refresher.]

Yu Xuan had accepted politely.

The technique Ke gifted alongside the robe was a Spirit Technique.

He never got a chance to use it.

Turns out he didn’t need to today either.

’Why the hell are the beasts avoiding me now of all times?’

He would think about that later.

The hidden realm shook violently as the uprooted land mass finally cleared the hole.

Suspended beneath Yu Xuan was a mountainous chunk of earth, shimmering with dark blue Yin stones, dark yellow Yang stones, and clusters of pristine spirit stones.

It radiated power strong enough to make even the sky ripple.

"Beautiful," Number Three whispered, wiping imaginary tears.

Yu Xuan snapped his fingers.

The massive landmass then vanished.

Stored directly into his system inventory.

Not the sect storage ring or the one given by his clan.

He didn’t think they had this much storage.

The moment the mountain disappeared, the hidden realm responded.

Winds shifted.

The sky dimmed.

Energy currents changed.

The ground trembled .

Something big was happening.

Something irreversible.

And Yu Xuan’s eyes narrowed as he looked towards his left and sensed it.

"...Well, that might be a problem." he said looking at the neighbouring mountain.

Because the neighboring mountain, an entire mountain was rising to its feet.

Stone cracked away like old skin.

Massive slabs shifted.

A pair of glowing magma-like eyes opened.

A Rock Giant, easily early Tier Five, stood up fully and let out a deep, grinding rumble that shook the sky.

At the same time, Yu Xuan sensed countless spirit beasts converging toward their location like a tidal wave.

Number One’s face paled instantly.

"B-Boss!! What do we do now!!?"

Yu Xuan floated down and landed calmly.

Number Three was already in full panic-harvest mode.

Hundreds of his puppets swarmed through the crater, scooping up the last bits of remaining spirit stones.

Number Two and Four assisted, their movements swift and practiced.

Yu Xuan rubbed his temples.

But their efficiency was terrifying.

Because within few seconds, they’d stripped the crater drier than a beggar’s bowl.

"Boss, I have teleportation talismans!" Number One said, voice shaking.

"But they only move us a short distance. After that we’d have to run."

"Running is useless now," Yu Xuan replied bluntly.

"We’re surrounded by thousands of spirit beasts... and that big guy,"

He pointed.

The Rock Giant took a step.

BOOM.

The earth quaked.

Birds fled the sky.

Number One’s soul almost left his body.

"Will definitely chase us."

Number One grabbed his hair.

"Then WHAT NOW!? Should we use all our trump cards!? Detonate everything!?"

"No," Yu Xuan said.

He cracked his neck, stretched lazily, and rolled his wrists.

"Let me test my new technique first."

Number One opened his mouth to protest but the ground trembled again, and his words died in his throat.

***

Meanwhile...

Six battered disciples staggered back to the cave entrance.

"Why was the entrance sealed...? Who sealed it!?"

"Wait, do you feel that too!?"

"H-Holy— the spiritual energy density dropped this much!?"

"What the hell happened outside while we were fighting!?"

Then they felt it.

A massive influx of beasts, tens of thousands, charging from all directions.

Every face went pale.

The green haired senior sister made a quick tactical decision.

"Retreat!! RETREAT!! Back inside the cave!! Now!!"

All six scrambled back inside like frightened rabbits.

***

[A/N: Side Quest IRL: At what time are you reading this Chapter? Look at the time and right answers only please!]