Chapter 95: Monk knows the joke

Yu Xuan stood once again in front of the familiar mission hall. Now that all three of his missions were complete, it was time to collect his rewards, the part he enjoyed the most.

Sure, his master had already granted him a generous number of sect points. But that didn’t mean he would pass up the chance to earn more. After all, one never knew when more points — or spirit stones — might be needed.

He walked inside with casual ease and made his way directly toward the monk, who sat at her usual post like a still mountain, her eyes closed and presence serene.

As he approached, the monk opened her eyes with practiced calm and gave a slight nod.

"Amitabha," she intoned. "Have you even completed your missions?"

It was a reasonable question, spoken with light skepticism. In her experience, new disciples often came back empty-handed or with incomplete results — especially those who returned within just two days like this one.

Yu Xuan clasped his hands respectfully. "Senior, I really have completed all my missions."

The monk raised an eyebrow and said nothing, merely lifting her hand to review the status of his missions. As a cultivator, her memory was naturally sharp, and the task took only a few moments.

After a pause, she looked at him with a frown of confusion.

"Two of your missions are marked complete," she said, her voice calm but firm. "But the third one isn’t yet submitted. Did you just lie to a monk?"



Yu Xuan scratched the back of his head and gave a sheepish smile. "Not at all, Senior. I have the Thorny Goats right here in my space ring. I was just wondering... how much I can earn from them. So I came to ask you."

The monk’s serene face twitched slightly, contorting into an expression that was — if Yu Xuan wasn’t imagining things, one step away from becoming a full-on deadpan glare.

"I don’t mind jokes," she said dryly. "But you really came to a monk to discuss... animal meat sales?"

Before Yu Xuan could respond, a light invisible force smacked him squarely on the forehead.

"Ow—!" he yelped, instinctively stepping back and rubbing his head. He glared toward the monk, who sat there motionless, though he was sure she had flicked her fingers just a moment ago.

"Young one," she said with calm authority, "You came to a monk to discuss pricing for slaughtered beasts. Truly, your brain must be knotted like an overused prayer bead."

Yu Xuan mentally facepalmed. ’Why did I even think this was a good idea? Of all the people in the sect, why did I walk up to a literal monk to ask about selling goats...?’

"I... I apologize, Senior," he said, bowing slightly. "That was indeed foolish. Please, can you tell me how to contact Disciple Wu?"

The monk gave him a long stare, then sighed.

"You really are hopeless. If you’d bothered to look at the mission details, you’d see that the contact information for Disciple Wu is listed right there. All you had to do was use your medallion."

Yu Xuan felt his soul leave his body briefly. So he had been running around like a genius only to be undone by his own stupidity?

He paused thinking, ’Why I am acting stupid’ he seriously felt something was wrong, but decided to ignore it.

In his heart, he vowed to one day drag a hungry street vegan to the nearest UFC (Ultra Fried Chicken) branch and force-feed them spicy wings — just to pass along the suffering.

Suppressing his shame and stray thoughts, he gave the monk another bow. "Understood, Senior. I’ll be back shortly."

With a flick of his fingers, Yu Xuan opened the interface on his medallion and quickly sent a message to Disciple Wu to arrange their meeting.

To his surprise, the reply came almost instantly.

[Disciple Wu]: I’ll meet you in the mission hall in fifteen minutes.

Since he now had time to spare, Yu Xuan looked around and spotted a stack of sect newspapers nearby. With nothing better to do, he walked over, grabbed one, and returned to his seat like a retired elder with too much free time. He took this habit of watching news from his old man.

The monk watched him from the side, eyebrows twitching slightly at the sight of this young cultivator sitting leisurely and flipping through a newspaper like it was morning tea time. Her lips parted as if to say something, but in the end, she chose silence.



With all the grace of an old man lounging in a teahouse, Yu Xuan opened the newspaper and gave an approving nod. The texture of the paper felt thick, like high quality was used to make it, but it shimmered slightly every time he turned the page.

’Wait... is this a self upgrading newspaper?’ Yu Xuan blinked, slightly amused. Then he remembered — this is a cultivation world. Of course even a newspaper might have spiritual enhancements.

He gave up trying to understand it and began his routine. First, he skimmed through the entire paper, flipping rapidly from page to page, studying all the pictures like a child reading a storybook.

After making absolutely sure that he had seen all the pictures, yes, even the small ones in the corners — Yu Xuan finally began reading the actual articles.

[Peak Master Yin Yang Has a New Pet — Turns Out It’s His Disciple!?]

He blinked at the headline, slightly amused. Below it was a large, somewhat dramatic image of a familiar face: the one and only Panda Po, looking solemn while chewing on a stalk of bamboo.

Yu Xuan snorted, "I knew that panda was suspiciously wise..."

It was a bit tragic, though. He hadn’t added the panda to his medallion’s friend list when he had the chance. A missed opportunity indeed.

"If I ever run into him again," Yu Xuan muttered to himself with a suspicious glint in his eye, "that’s the first thing I’m doing."

He only wanted to add a friend to his friend list. Yes, add a friend.